Tuesday, December 13, 2011

TRAUMA CINTA HATI

Assalamualaikum
Saje nk share ape yang terbuku kat hati.
CINTA mmg indah. but bagi aku skrg LOVE itu mcm satu penipuan satu benda yg aku mmg xsuka.
Selepas ape yg aku da lalui setahun lepas, aku mmg suka bila bercinta dgn dia. 
mmg i see the best of me when i looked in his eyes.
but it ended this way.
at first i do regret, i do cried hard for it.
sometimes my friends said that i'm too weak, too good.
yes,i am no ego person. i express what i feel. 
i dont know n dont like to hurt other ppl's feeling but if that feeling is mine,no worries go ahead, hurt it.

But now,as time passed, i learnt to be alone in a strange place, far from home and far from u.
i swallowed all the pain when i see couples around me.
cried alone when i remembered all about us.
hide the pain when saw someone like u something smells familiar that i used to smell when i'm with u.
yeah, n now. still i am not over it.
yes i still love u dear.
but for the time being, i am used to be single and i am comfortable this way.
i dont want any realtionship with anyone during my studies.
no one but u.
if only u can read this. i hope u understand what i'm trying to say.
I dont want any 'haram' relationship. 
all i want is a 'halal' relationship and a relationship that is matured enough,strong enough, blessed by family and the most important is blessed by ALLAH.
but mark my words,i dont want it now. 
later,yes.

i hate to hear the crap ppl keep saying to me about
'there's someone better for u' , 'move on' n bla3.
seriously it sucks u know. n that will ruin my day.
i'm happy to be me right now.
 i know my heart.
and only me know what i've been thru.
all u ppl,dont really know what i feel,what i've been thru.
yes, its true that some of u have been there,done that. but the story behind that stage is totally different from me.

yes, see. u see it by urself.
 this love taught me to be very stone-head girl and heartless person. AHAH.
clap clap.
yeah now i look like a psycho person.

but just as a summary, 
 i still love u.
 yes i'm stupid and weak cause i still love u.
 yes u'r my first ever love.
 and i really appreciate that, n i want that to end in a marriage
ALLAH hears me, ALLAH knows what i feel and what i wish for. 
may ALLAH granted my wishes. amiin..

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