Monday, December 26, 2011

Dan Aku Tewas Dengan Air Mata Lagi

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
Macam tajuk post kali ni, drama air mata aku terjadi lagi.
Bermula dengan aku menyelak2 notes time PASUM untuk membuat rujukan aku.
satu persatu aku selak, dari satu persatu tu jugak la terpahat perkataan2 yang akhirnya menghasilkan satu ayat.
semua tu hasil nukilan insan yang sangat bermakna malah masih lagi penting untuk aku sekarang,
walaupun die sedar atau pun tidak.

orang kata ketawalah untuk mengubati duka.
ya,aku dah buat, aku ketawa,aku senyum setiap kali aku ternampak semua tu.
setiap kali aku terbayang masa lampau.
tapi sampai satu tahap,memang xdapat nak bendung lagi.
semua tu membuatkan aku rasa sedih, dan berfikir bagi pihak dia.
ayat yang dia pernah katakan pada aku,
ya kala itu sangat bermakna bagi dirinya dan diriku
tapi sekarang aku yang bertanya sendirian adakah ianya masih bermakna buat dirinya?

ya,dan aku tewas, tewas dgn kenangan kita,tewas dgn kebahagiaan suatu masa dulu. kejayaan bersama2 ditempuh masa belajar.
aku xpernah lupa walau satu saat,walau seremeh mana pun kenangan itu.
sebab memang sudah lumrah perempuan, dia akan ingat semua detail hidupnya.

mengalir air mata ini untuk sekian kalinya,kerana terlalu merindui,
kerana terlalu takut menghadapi hari esok.
kerana terlalu terluka,kerana terlalu menyayangi.
dan aku menangis tidak bersuara. 
semua untuk mu.
semoga ALLAH mendengar rintihan hatiku, amiin..

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

TRAUMA CINTA HATI

Assalamualaikum
Saje nk share ape yang terbuku kat hati.
CINTA mmg indah. but bagi aku skrg LOVE itu mcm satu penipuan satu benda yg aku mmg xsuka.
Selepas ape yg aku da lalui setahun lepas, aku mmg suka bila bercinta dgn dia. 
mmg i see the best of me when i looked in his eyes.
but it ended this way.
at first i do regret, i do cried hard for it.
sometimes my friends said that i'm too weak, too good.
yes,i am no ego person. i express what i feel. 
i dont know n dont like to hurt other ppl's feeling but if that feeling is mine,no worries go ahead, hurt it.

But now,as time passed, i learnt to be alone in a strange place, far from home and far from u.
i swallowed all the pain when i see couples around me.
cried alone when i remembered all about us.
hide the pain when saw someone like u something smells familiar that i used to smell when i'm with u.
yeah, n now. still i am not over it.
yes i still love u dear.
but for the time being, i am used to be single and i am comfortable this way.
i dont want any realtionship with anyone during my studies.
no one but u.
if only u can read this. i hope u understand what i'm trying to say.
I dont want any 'haram' relationship. 
all i want is a 'halal' relationship and a relationship that is matured enough,strong enough, blessed by family and the most important is blessed by ALLAH.
but mark my words,i dont want it now. 
later,yes.

i hate to hear the crap ppl keep saying to me about
'there's someone better for u' , 'move on' n bla3.
seriously it sucks u know. n that will ruin my day.
i'm happy to be me right now.
 i know my heart.
and only me know what i've been thru.
all u ppl,dont really know what i feel,what i've been thru.
yes, its true that some of u have been there,done that. but the story behind that stage is totally different from me.

yes, see. u see it by urself.
 this love taught me to be very stone-head girl and heartless person. AHAH.
clap clap.
yeah now i look like a psycho person.

but just as a summary, 
 i still love u.
 yes i'm stupid and weak cause i still love u.
 yes u'r my first ever love.
 and i really appreciate that, n i want that to end in a marriage
ALLAH hears me, ALLAH knows what i feel and what i wish for. 
may ALLAH granted my wishes. amiin..

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Hujung minggu yang sangat memenatkan

Hujung minggu ni,aku sangat menggunakan energy secara agak berfaedah. Apa aku buat?

So, on Saturday morning aku ada EXAM EBX 0032 (Asas Pembudayaan Keusahawanan)
Right after that, aku pegi amek kereta sewa sebab petang tu aku dan housemate tercinta nak keluar bersama2. (:
The planning was supposely kitorg pegi air terjun kat Serian and tgk sunset kat Damai (Santubong). 
but it ended this way, we were happily ever after lepak-ing and watching Ombak Rindu at MBO The Spring. HAHA.
yup,we went thru the traffic jam,damn my feet hurt that much ok. 1 hour stucked in the traffic jam.
when we reached there, the parking was full! ouh another disaster. so we have to park very far away from The Spring.

Saya sayang KAKAK saya! (roomate tercinta)

LAPAR LAPAR!

cun cun kan housemate saya (: 

The Spring telah dihias dengan benda2 putih yang besar ini dan juga rusa2 yang xbergerak haha.
membuatkan aku sangat teringat kat MID VALLEY yg akn sentiasa SENTIASA dihias dengan benda2 cantik dan comel yang sgt menarik perhatian aku sepanjang masa terutama masa ada festival or perayaan.
Dengan perut yang lapar semua orang plus nak muntah bau minyak sume, terus kitorg sume terjah The Chicken Rice Shop. sementara tgu makanan, aku ngn Richel pegi la beli tiket Ombak Rindu pukul 5 petang. SUMPAAAHH RAMAAII GILA WEH .. sementara tgu aku sampai ke kaunter,aku tgk2 sekeliling. nampak la couple2 beratur nk tgk movie ke hape sume. haish,terbayang2. (sempat lagi tu..lama kan.xde pemandangan lain.)

So after that kitorg pun sambung lah makan... makan dan makan,kemudian kami pun berjalan2 sekejap sblm tgk Ombak Rindu tu.
Ok,masa dah tiba. Ombak Rindu kita tonton.

so my comments for this movie are:
The story line was ok.
Aaron Aziz was so damn HOT !. HAHA
Too much 18 scene. not suitable for underage.
Watching this movie,i can hardly cry because,after the emotional scene, it will be followed by a funny scene that will cause all the ppl in the hall to burst into laughter. 
but honestly,there's only one scene when i cried,it is when Aaris went to Izzah's village to take her back and apologies. The dialogue was so close to heart,and i only imagine something about my life. haha,ok,back to the topic.
So basically,i think this movie was so-so like my story wakaka perasan.
And i dont know if only at MBO there is too many scene that has been cut,
or maybe at all cinemas.

Ok jom layan lagu ni (: 

Tuhan tolong lembutkan hati dia
Untuk terima ku seadanya
Kerna ku tak sanggup
Kerna ku tak mampu
Hidup tanpa dia di sisi ku...

Tuhan aku tahu banyak dosa ku
Hanya ingat Kamu kala duka ku
Namun hanya Kamu yang mampu membuka
Pintu hatinya untuk cintaku...

Malam kau bawalah rinduku
Untuk dirinya yang jauh dari ku
Agar dia tidak kesepian
Selalu rasa ada cinta agung...

Hujan bawa air mata ku
Yang mengalir membasuh luka ku
Agar dia tahu ku terseksa
Tanpa cinta dia di hatiku...

Hanya mampu terserah
Moga cahaya di penanti...

Tuhan tolong lembutkan hati dia
Untuk terima ku seadanya...

Kerna ku tak sanggup
Kerna ku tak mampu
Hidup tanpa dia di sisi ku...


Ok then,after the movie,we went back with such a hurry cause i have a meeting with EXCO SUKAN ALLAMANDA at 8.30 pm.
so i managed to arrive at college at 8.29pm which is so cool. haha.
and then after about 1 hour meeting, I have to join the netball practice for tomorrow's game.
with that jeans,that shawl,yeah i played that night. NO REST ok? and empty stomach.
It was so hectic,I slept at 11.30pm. and woke up the next day at 6.15am cause the game was at 7.30am.
Not enough sleep,not enough rest? YES.
On the game day, i only played twice as GK n GD. supposely again i played for GS,but the responsible as GS was given to my friend,a better shooter, Seha (:
And most of the time i became the full time CHEERLEADER hoyeah (:
there, i can see my contribution,big one hell yeah !
all of the game ended at 1pm and yeah again in RAIN
but the Volleyball team of AQUATIC was so cool in RAIN,and we score like a dolphin
up up and away!
Aquatic ppl are meant to survive in rain and everything involving water. HAHA.
After having lunch with Shad and Tasya, i rushed back to washed my clothes.
A LOT OF CLOTHES TO BE WASH by the WASHING MACHINE of course. haha
While waiting for it,i watched Mohabbatein with my housemate. HAHA!
yeah we were like such a crazy HINDI FAN now. 
it is all because that handsome MR SHAH RUKH KHAN haha...
our house was like an indian region because my housemate, Richel loves to hear to Hindi songs. and we will dance happily hearing to that songs hehe...

After my clothes were done, i hang them up and yeah its time for me to rest!!
sleep sleep sleep..
5pm - 6pm - 7pm - 8pm - 8.30pm
then only i woke up. haha!
with different voice and headache yeah i wrote this post. 
and here u are,u manage to come to the end of the story (;
Congratulations!